Sunday, November 15, 2009
This is going to be a pretty pointless post but it will still be typed. Sorry ah. I'm as clueless as a nut about how I'm supposed to express hatred towards things, towards human beings and towards life in general. My temperature has gone up by a few degrees celcius and my ability to control my own temper has weakened drastically. Should I contain my hatred and test my threshold, or should I let it explode a few more times and see how many more times it can afford to explode?
Ok, I think this is still the best available option.
posted by joson on 8:29 PM----------------
0 Comments
1 Comments
0 Comments
5 Comments
i realise that i'm only left with one last weekend before my life as an armyboy begins. its good to see that others are coping well with bmt. and i hope it applies to me as well. haha. anyway, went back to telok blangah on friday to meet putra for lunch. thanks for the treat, dude. haha. and for once, i felt a slight tinge of longing for that place. perhaps its all the nice people i got to know there that made me feel that way. but then again, i do feel the same way to many other things in my life. i guess i'm suffering from nostalgia. -.- visiting ms ho/dinner with clarice and sf was cool. i cant believe we ended up talking about interviews. clarice's stories were exciting as ever. and i would really love to see sf give birth to a pile of shit. LOL.Sunday, November 8, 2009
I lost my psp that was barely 3 months old. I'm feeling disgusted because I didnt lose it myself, but I suspect the guy who borrowed it from me stole it. This accusation is not made without any grounds or justification. So I'm expecting a full-sum compensation, but its going to be a tough attempt I know.
Life is being very nice to me, but no complains.
I've always wondered how people can remain cheerful throughout most of their life. Think I found the answer to it today. No doubt, I believe in fate and destiny. That everything in life is pre-destined and we should be realistic in our dreams. However hard you may try to achieve in life, you will always be tied down by something called fate. The reason why people are born differently, in different places and at different times. Don't know how much we could afford to believe in fortune telling, but they can be true at times. The best way to survive all these shit is simply to take things easy and be satisfied with things around you. Easier said than done.
Life is miserable. I dont know what its like to be dead, but I really hope it wont be as bad as living. Probably one day, someone with an IQ of 34559034 would invent a device that could bring us on a detour to death, then we would have a clearer guage to whether suicide is a better option.
posted by joson on 10:27 PM---------------- Sunday, November 1, 2009
彩虹天堂
我不知不觉
又徘徊在从前
秋风悄悄的呼唤
听来尽是孤单
落叶的期盼
片片左右为难
心走寂寞攀
跟著飘进黑暗
我不闻不问
也许好过一点
被遗憾关在房间
挣扎只是拖延
无望的空谈
一声声的轻叹
回忆扯不断
怎么摆脱纠缠
找不到方向
往彩虹天堂
有你说的爱
在用幸福触摸忧伤
两个人
相守直到白发苍苍
自由的飞翔
在灿烂的星光
有你在我身旁
Still so in love with this song after so long.
果然是首意义非凡的歌。
posted by joson on 7:05 PM---------------- Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I've absolutely no idea what made me start off by typing this sentence on this very old, rundown and unvisited blog. Everything seem so long ago, when I last visited and typed my last word, it was months before. And of course, I've no intention of reviving this site, knowing that I've already lost the energy and motivation to pen down tots.
Reading through the posts, I realised how hectic my lifestyle used to be. It was all about going home late everyday. It was about catching up with friends, worrying over A lvl results, and getting paranoid over enlistment. Amazingly, army made me easily tired and sick of going out everyday. It gave me every reason to take full control of my time.
Six months seem like a short period of time, but it was like a turning point, if not changing point, for me. There were a handful of major changes and they seem to have taken a toll on my emotional well-being. I didn't know the proper way to handle them, and things were left hanging in midair. I didn't know how to react and to embrace the changes. And they affected me. However, I guess I've learnt to trust my heart and let go of things. Maybe if we can't change things, then we should accept, or to put it crudely, blame it all on fate.
The world has moved on, the girls into uni and the guys into different units in army. While I've lost touch with many people, I've had the opportunity to contact those I never had much chance to contact but share common ambitions in life. This is probably the plan designated for me. To take this two years to carefully think through what I want to do in future.
What I really can't wait now is to enter uni. To get myself indulged in fun and academics all over again. I enjoy going home late after social activities. Going for CCAs and talking to people with the same passion as me. I enjoy feeling the desperate need to study for exams. To become pressurised by those around you and start mugging. And most importantly, I cherish the freedom I get as a student. The freedom of choice you never get in army.
Few days ago I went back to nj with a few friends. The school has changed, the composition of students has changed too. Despite all these, it still reminds me very clearly of my life in there. There are moments that will be etched in your mind forever, and these moments may not always be the most significant ones. Simple flashbacks like walking through the main gate after project work, buying drinks from the stalls. And most of all, the flashback of holding the most internally disputable concert in the performing arts theatre. Unlike some of my friends who feel more bonded to their secondary schools, days in college remains the most momentous part of my life. It was a mixture of bitter and sweet moments, but all part of growing i guess.
My life in the supposedly 'holiday chalet' isn't bad after all. It isn't perfect either. Good thing is that you spend your time watching tv/dvds, playing psp, or reading a book. Bad thing is that, every mount, something tragic would happen. This mount, I was totally mind-fked due to a cat. Yes, a cat. It was a measure of my cat-phobia, and the result turned out to be pretty bad. D: I grew really angry and tried to lock the cat up but I underestimated it. The cat can jump really high, if not fly, through a rather high window panel, into my bunk, and onto our beds. That gave me a terrific morning shock. But thank goodness, I protested badly and the cat was released out of the camp. This, for instance, isn't something I can change easily. It was due to a childhood trauma which haunts me even until today! God Damn Cat.
posted by joson on 8:59 PM---------------- Sunday, March 29, 2009
Here's the song of the day. haha.
I visited sentosa on saturday, not alone lol. u get wad i mean if u get wad i mean, haha. i really think they're making lots of money, and even more would start rolling in once the IR is completed. that's my dream workplace but as u know, dreams never come true. i'll probably end up working in a dead boring place. so we took pictures, utilising my camera to the max, became abit high and i reached home by 0000hrs. 
posted by joson on 6:49 PM----------------
